The Lucy Show 5.13

The Efficiency Expert

first aired 12/12/1966

Oliver Kasten (Phil Silvers) is hired to improve the efficiency of the bank. He terrorizes Mr. Mooney, the bank's branch manager, and gets him demoted. He promotes Lucy. Everything seems to be going smoothly until Lucy and Mr. Kasten visit a toy factory.

The Phil Silvers Show 1.34

Bilko on Wall Street

Bilko goes to New York to visit Morgan Twinhasey, a friend of his who works on Wall Street. Ernie thinks that Twinhasey is rich but soon finds out that he is underpaid and overworked. Ernie does what he can to trick the firm of Butherworth Butterworth and Butterworth, Twinhasey's employer, into giving him a raise. Bilko's plan doesn't exactly work. Butterworth Butterworth and Butterworth fires Twinhasey, instead of giving him a raise. Bilko solves the problem by coming up with a scheme to convince Butterworth Butterworth and Butterworth that they have to get Twinhasey back.

The Phil Silvers Show 1.33

War Games

Bilko needs to go to his best friend's wedding. He is supposed to be the best man. Colonel Hall wants Bilko to train a squad of recruits. Bilko tries to take it easy on the recruits but they try very hard to get him to lead them and train them. There are war games coming up.

Thoughts

Where has this best friend been all season? Who even knew that Bilko had a best friend?

This episode was a little all over the place. It wasn't Bilko's best. This strikes me as one of the lesser episodes of the season.

The Phil Silvers Show 1.32

The Con Men

Doberman receives a check for $500. He goes into town and promptly loses the money to some con men. Sgt Bilko decides he must get Doberman's money back. He goes into town, dressed as a private and flashes a lot of money around. He quickly gets the attention of the con men.

Thoughts

Colonel Hall is not in this episode.

There was at least one inconsistency in this episode. Sgt Bilko already seems to know that Doberman was hanging out with people from his hometown before he tells him that. I don't understand how that can be possible.

This was a lot of fun and very funny. I love watching Bilko work.

The Phil Silvers Show 1.31

Hair

Three other Master Sargeants (Sowici, Pendelton, Grover) play a trick on Bilko. They attach a wig to his head while he is sleeping. He wakes up and thinks his hair has grown back. The other Master Sergeants have plans to reveal the trick in front of a crowd but Bilko discovers the truth before they get a chance to do so. Bilko comes up with a plan to get revenge on Sowici, Pendleton, and Grover.

The Phil Silvers Show 1.30

The Recruiting Sergeant

Bilko gets a hot tip about a 40-to-1 odds on a horse. He needs to get to town to place the bet. His only way off base is to go with Colonel Hall on a recruiting trip to the county fair in Topeka. He has some trouble locating the bookie with whom to place the bet. Colonel Hall saddles him with some recruits. He takes the recruits with him when he goes to see the bookie. One of the recruits almost blows it for him when he leads some policemen to the bookie's secret office.

The Phil Silvers Show 1.29

The Physical Check-Up

Bilko gets concerned when he learns that Colonel Hall wants him to take a physical fitness exam. He tries leading his men on a 20 mile hike but he only makes it a quarter mile before he has to turn around and head back. He tries working out at the gym. He tries working out with the guys who are in the best shape but he can't keeo up with them. He tries the next group down but they are also too tough for him. He winds up with a couple other master sergeants who are just throwing a ball around.

The Phil Silvers Show 1.28

Bilko and the Beast

Master Sgt Quentin Q. Benton, aka Beast, threatens to ruin things for Bilko after he is transferred to Fort Baxter. He starts pushing everyone around as soon as he arrives. He even gets some money off of Bilko.

Bilko tries explaining what's going on in Sgt Benton's head y ohis men but they don't follow his explanation. Bilko comes up with a plan to get Beast to leave. It plays on Sgt Benton's lack of understanding of life insurance policies.